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A Brother’s Reflection:

So today I tried to keep busy and stay distracted. Had some help with that, but tonight I am reflecting back a year ago on the most challenging day of this temporary & short experience we call Life.

My sister became sick around the first of March, and by April 5th I watched helplessly as we made the decision to let her rest in peace. After a month of what she went through it was the only option available. I don't know what was more painful, watching my niece and nephew walk into that ICU room, or experiencing the process our soul takes as it leaves the temporary body and moves on to the Afterlife/heaven, Or as some would say, "going back home."

 My sister came down with type A Influenza, which after 3-4 days turned into pneumonia, and immediately in addition to a bacterial blood infection called Sepsis.

 

When you lose someone that close to you, it honestly makes any fear of death melt away and is a constant reminder to actually LIVE life vs "drifting" as talked about in Napoleon Hill's book "outwitting the devil"

 

Sounds strange but I think we all know someone who has already died, yet they are still physically here.

 

The last words my sister said to me were "I love you" about a week before she became ill. I had to go pick up my parents from their house as the wine cellar had provided another night of good conversation around the table I'm sure. As I was leaving I faintly remember her saying that, knowing I dropped whatever I was doing to instantly become my own parents' DD! Little did I know that was the last time I would hear her voice.

 

I've also become aware on how important it is to consciously go through the grieving process. Three straight weeks of traveling for work prevented that from happening. All the built up stress and anxiety was immediately fixed with a good cry. (Real men are not afraid of showing their emotions btw :)

 

It immediately reminded me of a book about a Special Forces Sniper who would break down and cry/sob right after engaging in a life or death firefight behind enemy lines. It was his way of releasing any guilt/fear/emotion and moving on.

 

If you haven't picked up on my undiagnosed A.D.D. by now, it's probably a good time to hit send on this one.

 

Goodnight.

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